A Single Tear: The Story
by ThePuppetMaster7
Summary: Alternative ending for the deep roads. What if Fenris got tainted? What happens when he finds out Anders likes him, but he has to leave? Will these two ever meet again? (Well, obviously. Otherwise, this would not have to be so long!) Started out as a oneshot, but things change. Can be read as a oneshot. All you have to do is read only the first chapter, done! Enjoy!
1. A Single Tear

**I'm using my William Hawke for this, because he's the only one that doesn't romance Fenris or Anders. This ideas been stuck in my head for ages. Its nice to get it out. Guy guy love dudes. If you hate it, this is not for you.**

**There is strong sexual mentioning. Swear words, to. There is no smut! So far...**

**BIOWARE OWNS IT!**

...

He hated the deep roads. And now they were stuck in them.

"I'm gonna find that son of a bitch! Sorry mother. And kill him!" Varric said. An unfortunate event had happened. It turned out that not only the deep roads drove people crazy. Apparently so did greed, power, and jealousy. They had been trapped in the deep roads by Varric's brother, Bartrand. The asshole left them here to die!

"Just save some of him for me to kill. The jackass." Hawke said. Anders looked at the rest of the group, and saw Isabela rolling her eyes, and Fenris standing there brooding like he usually did. He still didn't understand that elf. But he did know how sexy he was..._Maker, dammit! Stop thinking about the prickly elf!_ He sighed at the whole problem.

"Lets just try and get out of here. The sooner, the better." He said. Hawke glared lightly at him, but started walking anyway. Leading them to where ever they would be caught next.

They had walked quiet a bit, before encountering darkspawn. It was such a pain in the ass. All he wanted to do right now, was get back to his little clinic, and not leave till his calling. They walked more and encountered rock wraiths. It was a bit strange but they continued anyway.

Eventually there was one that didn't attack them on sight. He said he could help them escape. He warned Hawke not to listen to ANYTHING it said. Hawke denied the demon out of pure stubbornness. They killed it easily. And moved on.

They came to a circular part, and was ambushed by the biggest rock wraith ever. During the battle, Anders noticed Fenris faltering slightly. He decided after Hawke had taken the demon out, that he would keep a closer eye on the elf.

It turned out that the rock wrath was guarding a treasure trove. And they were also pleased when they acquired a key to the door that would get them out of there. They grabbed all the coin they could, and left. Finally.

After that they had traveled for a few hours, before Someone spoke up.

"Um, Hawke? Can we take a short rest." Fenris. Anders looked at the elf, and noticed the black spots on his neck, and they were spreading. Hawke turned around to look at him.

"We need to get out of here. I would think you of all people would know that." He said. Fenris lifted his hand up to his forehead, as he started to fall. Anders caught him just before he hit the floor. He sat him onto the ground, and checked his temperature. He was boiling. He then checked the elves pulse, it was to slow. Isabela came to sit next to him.

"Whats wrong with him?" She asked. He inspected the spots on his neck, and the elf made a growling noise, as he prodded at the spots. It seemed that was the only thing the elf could do.

"Is this gonna take long?" Hawke asked. Anders rolled his eyes.

"It all depends on what he's got." He said. Varric came to his other side.

"And whats he got?" The dwerf asked. Anders examined the elf a bit more, before realizing what he had. His hands drew back in shock, and he gasped lightly.

"It-it...He-he's got the taint." He stuttered out. Isabela shot to her feet, gasping. Varric look at the elf sadly. He saw the Fenris' eyes starting to close his eyes, so he shook him lightly. "Don't you dare, you stupid elf." He said, his voice breaking a bit. He could feel the tears that threatened to spill, but he outright refused to let them. Fenris' eyes opened a bit. He sighed in a bit of relieve. Isabela went back down to them, and lightly pushed Anders to the side.

"Come on you sexy elf. You can make it through this... Right Anders?" She said, turning her head to him. "There is a cure...Right?" She asked, still hopeful. But you could hear the sadness in her voice. Varric grabbed Fenris' shoulder, and turned him to him.

"Come on, Elf. you cant leave us." Varric said. Anders was forcing himself to look into Isabela's shining eyes. It looks like shes on the verge of tears as well. He looked at the elf as he tried to talk.

"I...I'm...not going...Anywhere..." Fenris forced out. Anders let out a shaky breath, and told them the sad truth.

"I'm sorry, guys." He turned his head to the Elf. "Fenris. There's only one cure. And there only a small chance that it will work."

"What is the cure?" Hawke said. Anders had only just noticed how quiet Hawke had been. He looked over to him, and saw that Hawke had an unreadable expression on. He wished he could do that. Just block out all feelings from his face.

"I..um...The only cure is to become a gray warden." Hawke nodded. Anders turned back to the other free. Fenris was trying to keep consciousness, Isabla had let her tears go, and was hugging the elf. And Varric was patting Isabela's back, and looking at Fenris with a sad expression.

"Can you make him one?" Hawke asked. Anders shook his head. But then an idea came to him.

"But I think I know where people that know how to make him one are." He said. Isabela turned to look at him, a hopeful gleam in her eye. He stood up, and moved over to Fenris. He gently picked the warrior up, bridal style.

"..Put..m-me...down..." Fenris tried. What he said was barely coherent, but he understood what he said.

"Stop trying to talk, you stupid elf. Your not dying on my watch." He said, and started walking in the direction of the wardens that could help Fenris. "Come on. He doesn't have that much time." They complied, following him. After he said his last sentence, he could feel the elf calm.

"Wow, Blondie. I'm surprised. You going out of your way to save the person you truly hate. It sounds like the start of a crappy romance story." Varric said. His gaze never left straight ahead when he answered.

"I never truly hated him. He just really irritates me, sometimes." He said. He started speeding up as he felt Fenris' breathing slow. He glanced down at the elf, and saw his eyes shut. To which he started breaking into a run.

"Don't die. Don't die. Don't die. Please, don't die." He repeated to himself the whole trip. The passed through a opening, to find a group of wardens. "Thank the maker." He said. "Oy!" He yelled as the wardens were about to leave. They turned around at the sound of his voice.

He stopped in front of them, and gasped for air. Who he assumed was the leader of the group, raised an eyebrow. "What do you need?" The man asked. Anders put Fenris down. Fenris stumbled at first, but seemed to be just fine. As long as he was leaning on Anders, that is.

"He's tainted. We were hoping you could make him a gray warden." He said. The warden looked at Fenris, noting the sword strapped to his back. _Please work.._

"You do know that we are no charity." He said. Isabela stepped up to say something, but was stopped by Hawke's hand on her shoulder. Hawke spoke instead.

"Fenris is one of the most powerful and skilled warriors I know. He has save us more then once. He is worthy of this." He had to admit it. Hawke could really help a situation. The warden nodded, and looked at the state of Fenris.

"We will have to under go the ritual as soon as possible. Say your goodbyes, because he will be coming with us afterwards." Anders nodded. The group gathered around the elf, and said there goodbyes. The elf was awake and coherent enough to accept them. Isabela hugged him. Sobbing lightly.

"I'll probably never find an elf more sexy then you." She said, pulling away. She smiled at him. He gave a little smile back. Varric patted the elves upper arm.

"Its gonna be empty without you around, Elf." He said.

"..At...at least you...wont...have to suffer my brooding..." He said, his voice cracking. Varric laughed.

"Finaly admitting it." Varric paused. "This is your own adventure, Fenris. Have fun with it." That was the first time Varric called Fenris my his name. It would probably be the last. Hawke walked up to the elf, and gave him a small nod.

"You were one of the first people I respected. Don't ruin my respect for you by dying." He said.

"..I'll try...not to..." Hawke put a hand on his shoulder.

"You wont try, you wont die." He said. Then he removed the hand. Fenris nodded. Then Anders went to stand in front of Fenris. He smiled at the elf. Fenris began, "Don't...don't lose...control..Or..or even if I die...I... will still kill you..." Anders pretty much crumbled at the mention of Fenris dying. Taking the elf into his arms. Fenris made a shocked expression, and tensed his whole body.

"Don't die." Anders said. His voice breaking, as a single tear fell down his cheek. "Or I'll go to the fade, and pull you out of it." He felt Fenris' muscles calm. He pulled back, and drew the elf into a kiss. He figured if the elf wasn't here, then there was no chance he could hate him as much. He pulled back, and looked into those emerald eyes he would always admire. Fenris looked at him, utterly shocked. Then the wardens came, and said it was time for them to take Fenris and do the ritual. Fenris nodded, and was given an arm to lean on from the warden.

He was walking away. The mage hating elf he secretly liked was walking away, to leave forever. Isabela collapsed into Hawke's arms. And Varric patted his arm. He saw Fenris look back once, looking into his eyes. He smiled. Anders hated this. The maker probably hated him, and he hated him back.

"Lets go." Hawke said. And started walking away with Isabela still in his arms. Anders took one last look, then walked with the rest of them.

"Now its like a crappy tragic romance story." Varric said. He nodded. Thinking of how his last memories of the elf would be of him smiling.

"Tragic for everyone..."

...

**That is the oneshot bit, but also the start of the story if your interested. All you have to do is either click the next button, or the back button.**

**Have a good Day/Night!**


	2. So We Meet Again

**Oh god. I personally blame this on the (one) person that commented on this. I like reviews and all, but that one review made me suddenly want to continue this. So, thank you, random viewer called Lolana. You made me do this. (I don't really blame you to much. Don't feel guilty, or anything.)**

**Ahem, all the characters and shit belong to Bioware. If it was mine these two would be together, and they would be happy about it!**

...

It had been three years already. Three years since the deep roads. Three years since Fenris was tainted.

When they had come back from the deep roads, they had found out that Carver had decided to join the Templars. Anders knew that Fenris and Carver were some what friends, but it was still a surprise when the boy had said he would miss him.

After that it had been three months till they heard that Fenris had survived. Even though he was pissed at how long it took them to let them know he had lived, it was good to know that he had survived. And then there was that little kiss he had given Fenris as somewhat of a goodbye present, even though they had been rivals for all of the time they had known each other. It still saddened him that there was no possible way to contact him and no way to see him. That is unless he wants to go across the ocean, in a crammed ship, to Ferelden. He had already done that too many times in his life, and he wasn't ready to do it again. It was good that the little band of misfits managed to stay as happy as they could without the broody elf around. Even though they never mentioned him, Anders knew that they were always thinking about how the deep roads could have gone. The only thing he could do now is to get over his 'Rival' and focus on the plight of the mages.

He still had no idea what he could do for them at the moment. The Templars are getting even more stingy. He had (With the help of a curtain spirit) joined a mage underground. If there was anyone who he could count on to help him with his duty, it was them. But then he had almost killed that poor mage girl. After that he had shut himself in his clinic, only accepting to see patients. Eventually, Hawke had come and shown him some papers that could have been a chance for the mages.

There was also the problem of the Qunari. They hadn't left for Par'Vollen yet and it seemed like the ship that would take them back was never coming. For some reason they kept encountering anti-Qunari everywhere. What did the Qunari ever do to them? Well, there is the fact that they collar there mages like dogs, but he doubted anyone really cared about that. As they went on, it just kept getting worse. Worse being the Viscount's son being murdered by, not the Qunari, but an anti-Qunari fanatic. The other problem was this fanatic had been a Chantry mother. That could be seen as a good thing, considering that he wasn't one for the Chantry, and didn't care that she got killed. And she _did_ get killed. By a Qunari archer, no less. And as time went on, it seemed that the Arishok's patience had come to an end. Which was a bad thing, considering Hawke's heart had just been smashed into tiny pieces when Isabela chose a relic instead of him. It's not like Hawke was one to mope around and do nothing. Instead he was just easier to enrage. So when the Qunari decided to try and convert Kirkwall, Hawke was more then just a bit pissed.

And now there here. Hawke, Varric, Aveline and Anders. Walking up the steps of Lowtown, knowing that this whole affair will Not. End. Well.

"Anders! Get down!" Aveline yelled at him as a Qunari soldier came from behind. Hawke managed to shot a fireball at the soldier before Anders could get injured. Where had his thoughts gone? He looked around and saw that the battle was over. But.. when did it start?

Lately he couldn't keep his mind off everything that had happen over the years. How it all had happened, and where everything was going from here on out. He had managed to forget about Fenris. Justice made sure if the elf ever came to his mind, the thought would be blocked out, eliminated, pulverised.

"Yo, Blondie! You okay?" Varric asked as he put Bianca back on his back.

"I.. uh, yeah. I'm fine." He replied. Hawke and Aveline came over to him.

"This is a really bad time for your thoughts to be elsewhere." Aveline said. He looked at the two, before shacking his head to get rid of whatever thoughts were there during the battle.

"Sorry, I know." Hawke started walking away. Probably still pissed that Isabela left him after all they had been through. Aveline followed after him, along with Varric. He soon started walking with them. What had gotten into him? He couldn't even remember what he was thinking about. Nothing good could come from him being distracted. He had to remember to heal his companions.

It was like they had taken two steps before more Qunari attacked. Maybe if he had never given his services to Hawke he wouldn't be in this mess. It was almost to bad that the likeliness of him going back in time and erasing him ever helping Hawke was very, _very_ low.

They walked up more of the steps, and turned into the slums of Lowtown. They heard the noises of battle. Who was fighting the Qunari?

They hurried to were the fighting was taking place. There were the Qunari and fighting them were, from what he could see and what the armor gave away, Seemed to be Grey Wardens. That didn't help with his concentration at all. Just brought back memories of what could have been. But Justice got rid of those thoughts before they could distract him.

Hawke summoned a fist of the maker and pulled down the Qunari. Varric pelted arrows at them, while Aveline rushed into the fray and bashed them down. It was true, she was like a woman shaped battering ram. He cast Haste on everyone, which increased the speed of the battle. Soon enough, with the extra help of the wardens, they had beaten there foe.

"We thank you for your timely intervention." That must be the leader of the group. There was two others. A weapon shield man and he couldn't really see the other, due to the helmet, but he could see the broad sword now strapped to his back. He didn't really want to know who they were. The only thing he could think of was the fact that this persons voice reminded him of someone. The one with the broad sword approached them.

"Hawke, long time no see." Wait... That was...

No way...

"Elf?" Varric asked the most obvious question that was probably on everyone's mind. The warden took his helmet off, then they could see it, the white hair and green eyes. It was Fenris. Anders stiffened, suddenly forgetting how to breath. He turned his head to him. They made eye contact for a brief minute before Fenris turned away.

The warden leader came up to them. "I apologize, but we must go. We have important business to attend to." They had to leave? Of course they did. Fenris was a warden now, and he just had to accept that there was nothing he could do about it. _Now, Maker, why can't you ever give me a break?_ He thought. It seemed cruel that he would only get a glimpse of Fenris before he would disappear from his life again. As they had turned to leave (Along with Anders last chance at answers) someone walked up the steps.

"Now what in the Maker's name do you all think your doing?" A female elf came up to them. A smirk on her face.

"We were about to leave." The leader said to the girl. She looked at them with an unimpressed look. She was certainly strange. She pointed at Fenris.

"He will be coming with me. We will help these people." She said. The leader looked gobsmacked. But who was this person?

"Might I ask who you are?" Hawke asked. The girl ran her eyes over Hawke's form, and she smiled.

"Well, is that not obvious, human?" Hawke glared at the girl, but she simply shrugged it off. "He," Her gaze turned to Fenris. "Will come with me. The rest of you head out." The wardens saluted her, and walked there way away. She turned her gaze back to Hawke. "What is the problem here?"

"I would know who I am talking to first." Hawke said sounding agitated. She grinned at him and gave a curt bow.

"I am the Hero of Fereldan." She said, with a huge grin. Varric looked at the elven girl with disbelief plastered on his face. Hawke's gaze did not falter, however. Aveline took a step forward and bowed.

"Greetings." She said. Coming back up. Anders gaze barely moved from Fenris. The elf hadn't changed that much at all. Still the same broody look, still the same tensed up position. The other wardens were gone, so that must mean Fenris isn't going to leave. In some word, that just made things worse, no matter how many times one part of him leaps for joy. The warden put her hands up.

"Don't worry about being formal. I was an elf in the Alienage most of my life. I don't need such treatment." She looked at them all. "In fact, I want to be treated like any one else that would come and help in this situation." She waved her hand to Hawke. "Lead the way." Hawke nodded, and they started making there way out of Lowtown.

It still didn't stop Anders from thinking about all the possible things he could be saying to Fenris right now. He thought the words, but they would not escape his mouth. It seems just seeing the elf is shock enough for him. Then there was Justice telling him not to think about the elf. Naturally he just told the spirit to sod off. It worked well enough. Now the only thing he needed to do was find his voice and shove it back into his throat. Which would likely be hard. But what part of his life wasn't hard?

...

**It is short, so what? I have been busy, also I am not one of those extremely long chapter people. Those people probably die at how much they have to write like every week.**

**Katrina is my City elf warden. You may find out everything about her when I finish writing about her trilogy. Until then, your gonna have ta live with it. BTW she doesn't have a soft spot for humans. It is only through her travels that she has realized that not all of them rape your family.**

**Have a nice Day/Night!**


	3. Discussions of Mages And Rogues

**Oh no! I appear to have dropped this chapter into my story. Oh well. ;) (PS, feel lucky!)**

...

They made there way up to Hightown, battling anything that tried to stop them. Anders didn't talk to Fenris. He didn't want to at the moment. He just wanted to gather his thoughts, think of words that won't embarrass him, and wait for a moment when there is no one else but him and the elf. Hopefully he would get a chance. Otherwise, Fenris would go back to being a warden away from him. He wanted to change something between them. But not like when he had kissed him in the deep roads. He wanted to _do _or_ say_ something, but nothing came to him. So he silently watched Fenris talk to the other members of the group, along with Varric asking random questions to the Hero of Ferelden. Or Katrina, as she said her name was.

Fenris had been talking to Varric when Anders, once again, forced himself to tear his eyes away. It wasn't just him trying, but Justice was also a great deal of influence on the matter. Stupid spirit won't leave him alone. Every time his eyes wonder to Fenris, he gets an earful of the booming voice in his head.

_I can think about what I want, Justice. Leave me alone._

**It is not thinking that you are doing! That elf is a distraction. He also hates mages. Unless we can convert him to our cause, he is useless. You need to cease this infatuation, before it makes you weak.**

_You think that about everyone!_

He wished that Justice would leave him alone. It would never likely happen, but he could dream, right? Katrina slowed her steps, walking next to him. He looked at her with a questioning look. She simply smiled.

"Your a Grey Warden." She said. He looked at her dumbly for a few seconds, before remembering that she probably sensed him.

"Right, you probably sensed the taint in me."

"Yeah. So, why are you here when your meant to be defending the world from the Darkspawn?"

"I would ask you the same question."

"Well, you can't stay in Denerim for to long. It gets boring, you know? Ever since I became the Hero of Ferelden there's been nothing to do that doesn't involve paper work. And I'm not one for paper work. There was a stage where I traveled with my friend, but I had to come back for some of my own reasons. That's when the paper work came in."

"You should have thought of that before becoming so important. Everyone knows that as soon as you become famous all the nobles want to invite you to all of there party's, and you can't say no for fear of offending them." She laughed at his words.

"Well, someone could have told me that before I learnt the hard way." He couldn't help but smile as he talked to her.

"How did you learn?"

"I refused an invitation to a nobles ball, in the most rudest way, I may add. I remember saying 'You think I want to go to a humans party? Are you really that stupid?'. My friend, Alistair, had to get me out of that one. If he wasn't there to help me, I'm pretty sure I would have lost a lot of fame."

"Here I thought you didn't care about being an important person."

"Well, I figured if the human children know that the person who saved them all is an elf they won't be likely to abuse them, right?" What she was saying kinda made sense. Maybe if he could convince children that mages aren't people to be fear, then when they grow up they might treat mages with respect and not abuse them as they do now. He should write that down.

He came back to reality with Katrina looking at him with questioning expression. He raised an eyebrow.

"Um, what?" She rolled her eyes, and sighed.

"I said, whats the relationship between you and the other Warden, Fenris." She seemed to have repeated. Both his eyebrows shot up at the question.

"We... We're rivals from ages ago. We used to go follow Hawke on his little adventures like the one were on now. But then he got tainted by the Darkspawn and had to become a Grey Warden." He explained. She still looked at him with that questioning look. "What?" She shrugged and looked back ahead.

"It's just the fact that your eyes keep wondering to him, his features, You know. his hair, his eyes, his torso, his ass-" He threw his hand to her mouth to shut her up as he saw Fenris look back to them. He smiled innocently at Fenris' raised eyebrow. Thankfully Fenris looked back ahead shortly after and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He could feel Katrina struggle and he noticed he was also blocking her nose, preventing her from breathing. He pulled his hand away quickly, and she started coughing furiously.

Her eyes snapped to him, making him flinch visibly. She glared at him, then smiled as she started laughing. Maker save him, she was attracting a lot of attention. He scowled at her as she started to calm down. She looked at him, still giggling lightly.

"If you wanted me to shut up, you could of just said so, instead of cutting off my airflow." She laughed a bit again. He sighed. She looked at him through the corner of her eye. "Soooo...You and the elf." He glared hotly at her, but she still didn't back down. "I know that he's pretty, but really, he hates mages. How were you ever planning on making that work?" She was just making it worse. Know he could remember just how impossible it was that Fenris might have a lick of feeling for him.

"I never really planned on making it work," He started quietly. "At first it was just desire, lust. No feelings." That brought back memories. Horrible ones that involved him running back to his clinic because of something that would happen by accident with the elf. It also seems that the Lyrium in Fenris calms Justice down. So there was that little luxury. "But then the deep roads happened. I thought I would never get to see him again after he was taken by the Wardens. I only realized how I felt after he was gone. Its still desire, but I also feel that I want to be there, with him. No matter what happens. I haven't felt like that for ages." He sighed. "Maybe if I had keep't a better eye on him in the deep roads, he would have never been tainted." He looked back to Katrina, who was looking at the ground.

"Well," She start, sighing. "I know how that feels. It's like everything is taken away from you due to just one stupid mistake." There was a long pause, before he put in a little,

"I know, it sucks." They stopped the conversation after that, Katrina going to socialize with the others, while he just lagged at the back of the group in his own show of depression. That little talk gave him a lot to think about, to much. It made him pissed at the same time as relieved. Now he had something to think about besides the elf, but he also had more stuff involving the elf. Justice's voice still boomed in his head, giving him a pretty permanent headache, while on the outside of his head there was his friends, along with the sound of the city falling down around them.

They went up yet more step. And guess what they found there, more Qunari asking to be killed. Aveline and Fenris charged into the middle of battle, to kill off as much as they could, while Katrina slashed and stabbed the Qunari with her dagger and longsword. Appering in and out of sight. Varric spewed arrows at the enamy and he and Hawke threw spells at them. Anders healing, Hawke doing serious damage.

With all this fire power, the battle was over before it had even began. He let out an exhausted sigh. All this magic was draining him. He needed to stop using so much of it. Even though that's what he wanted to do, there was no way he would actually get to do it. Justice was always breathing down his neck, getting him to wake up early and open the clinic, or getting him to do his manifesto in the middle of the night. He never got a break to himself, where he could just read a book, or something.

"Was that all of them?" Hawke asked. To answer it, there was a big explosion, that knocked them all to the ground. He groaned in pain and annoyance and looked up. It had been a Saarebas. And that same Saarebas went over to where Hawke was and started charging a spell that was sure to finish him off.

Suddenly, he could feel a pull on his magic, making him slightly more tired. Unfortunately, he knew exactly what it was. Templar magic. That mean't Templars. He didn't think Justice would be able to take it. If he didn't calm down, then Anders would end up in the gallows courtyard, missing his body. The only good thing about it was the fact that the Qunari mage suddenly lost his pull on the fade, hence losing his spell. A sword got plunged into it's chest and pulled out. Then gone to cut it's head off. He felt a bit sorry for it. He would have felt more sorry if it hadn't just tried to kill them. After the Saarebas moved out of the way, dead on the ground, Anders could see the shiny Templar plate. But it wasn't just the ordinary Templar plate, this was the Knight-Commander plate. So then that must be..

"I am Knight-Commander Meradith." She said, as she helped Hawke onto his feet. Hawke nodded his thank you, probably not liking the idea of a Templar either. He helped himself up, and glared at the woman. She was the one making it harder for mages in the city. The only hint of respect he had for her came from the fact that she denied the tranquil solution. Beyond that, she was a Templar, and couldn't be trusted.

Meradith narrowed her eyes at Hawke. "I know you." Hawke arched an eyebrow, still not looking the least bit interested in what she had to say. "The name Hawke has come in many of my reports. To many." Well, it doesn't look like she trusts Hawke one tiny little bit. To him it was a good thing, considering Hawke thought of trust as a two way thing.

"Don't expect me to say sorry. None of those are really my fault. Now, if you'll excuse me-" Hawke said, going around Meradith and intending on heading out. That was before Meradith called him.

"I do not expect such a thing. But I do expect you to meet me at the keep." Hawke turned to her, fury clear in his eyes. "And I also know you will do it. You're brother will be there." She walked passed him, not saying another word. Hawke looked like he was going to kill someone. The problem was, there was nothing much stopping him.

Hawke raised his hand, making a motion that clearly meant 'Come on, we've got work to do'. Anders sheathed his staff, following Hawke. He really needed to stop going though this. Now they were helping the Knight-Commander. What could be worse for a rebel mage? Clearly nothing, as it seems. He looked over everyone else to make sure there were no injuries. His eyes landed on a large burn on Katrina, along with a slash on Fenris. Great, now he had to heal the two elves that probably annoy him the most. Katrina for her infuriating... EVERYTHING! And Fenris for making him impossibly infatuated with him, the elf he used to call his rival before this all had happened. Now he didn't know what to call him.

...

**Hey, look! Up there! It looks like there is gonna be more interaction between Fenris and Anders next chapter. Oh how I am awesome. :D**

**PS, next chapter will be up like, maybe thursday or friday. (Fenders friday?! :D)**


	4. He Was That Mage?

**It's late, I know. But it is the holiday season, so yeah.**

...

His leg hurt. Even though it did, he didn't want to speak of it. Being what he's been his whole life has gotten him used to pain. But this one _really hurt._ His only hope is that the abomination wouldn't notice. The last thing he needed right now was to have to talk to him. After the deep roads everything about where they stood was destroyed. That one tiny little kiss wrecked all he thought he knew about the mage. After what had happened, and he had time to consider everything, he thought it was good that he had been taken away from Kirkwall. Amaranthine was nice, but he still missed is friends. He missed playing Wicked Grace at the hanged man, he missed Varric's comments, he even missed how Isabela would try to get into everyone's pants.

It was strange to miss something. The only time he had ever felt such a thing was when he had... killed the fog warriors. And even then he never missed them _this _much. And when he had met the elf he came to know as Katrina he was, strangely, reminded of the old times. Her personality was just like Varric's and Isabela's put together. And then there was her friends, which reminded him more of the old times. It almost hurt to remember everything. Every little detail felt fresh in his mind.

He didn't think that when he was going to go on that trip back to Kirkwall the Qunari would be attacking. Even less did he think he would get the chance to see everyone after all that time. He also didn't think he would see the mage with them. If he had, he probably would have just chosen to go somewhere else.

There was still so many questions that are unanswered for him. Why did the mage kiss him? How long was he waiting to do that? How did he not notice anything? He was probably blind to it because of all the arguing that they would do. It didn't seem possible that the mage would have felt anything besides anger towards him. He wanted to rip the bloody abomination's heart out and uncover all it's secrets (Along with kill the mage while he was at it).

He always hated being healed by the mage. It reacted to his markings, making him feel weird. He hated the sensation. Absolutely hated it. No one really knew about how his markings would react to magic. And he hoped no one ever knew.

Hawke knew a bit of healing magic, but that wasn't much better. When Hawke's magic came into contact with his markings, it would sting. He once compared Hawke to Anders, along with what there magic did to him. Anders magic was... Strange. It made him feel light headed, calm. Like he could sleep to the sensation. But that's what he hated the most. When choosing between Anders and Hawke, it was practically like choosing between pain and sleepiness.

He just tried to hid it enough that both men wouldn't see it. Then the only thing he had to do was put up with an aching pain in his leg, but he was used to pain.

Unfortunately his luck seemed to have ran out the moment he entered the situation. Hawke, thankfully, had gone over to heal Katrina. His problem was the abomination coming over to check on him. He glared at the man as he came to a stop about three feet in-front of him. The mage put his hands on his hips, not looking very impressed.

"Your injured." It was a statement. Fenris shifted on his feet as they stared at each other. The mage didn't seem to have changed. Still had that same ponytail, still has the stubble and still has those irritating feather shoulder pieces. Why was he thinking about this?

"I am fine." He said. The abomination just moved closer.

"Your leg is injured. And from what I can see, the cut is pretty deep." Fenris narrowed his eyes.

"What is your point?" He really hoped this wasn't going where he thought it was going.

"Well, just the fact that if that gets infected then you'll probably have to get it chopped off. Unless you stop being a stubborn prat, and let me heal it." After all this time, he is still an infuriating mage. Fenris crossed his arms over his chest. Also considering whether the mage had been serious or not.

"Leave me alone." Maker, this mage will probably not give up. He never used to, why would he start? The mage sighed, walking the rest of the way to Fenris. He kneeled down to him, making Fenris yelp in surprise. It was so unlike him. Then he felt it, this healing magic, seeping into the large gash on his upper leg. He watched at Anders closed his eyes in concentration, alone with his eyebrows drawing together. The cool soon got rid of the burn. Leaving nothing but a cut in his leggings. He would have to fix that.

He stepped back from Anders as soon as he was able. Anders stood back up with a stumble. He quickly regained himself, rubbing his temples. If healing made him loss so much energy, why did he use it so much? It just didn't made sense to him. Then again, everything mages do make no sense. That was just how they were made to be. Unpredictable.

"Now, was that so bad?" Anders asked. He simply continued to glare at him, giving him all the answer he was ever to get out of him. Nothing the mage said or did would change this little fact. Sometimes he wished they didn't argue so much, but that would mean either getting rid of his past, or making Anders magic go away. And they both knew the likeliness of either.

"Still not talking," Anders continued on. "Greeaat.. You know, a thank you would be nice once in a while." He started walking away. Good. He didn't need to thank the mage for help he never asked for. He never would either.

Hawke started walking again, making them follow. Hawke seemed a bit more pissed then usual. Varric had told him it was because Isabela had chosen the relic she had been searching for for so long over Hawke. What had happened between the two while he was gone? Apparently Hawke had fallen in love, which wasn't something he thought he was to ever see. Hawke would be the most cold heart'ed person of all the Ages. How did he manage to fall in love with a whore? He had heard something once, from this dwarf friend of Katrina's. He had said 'Never fall in love with a prostitute'. He even admitted he had heard it from some Fereldan mage. He still didn't get the meaning of the saying. Probably that your heart will be broken into a million pieces, unless you like having an open relationship. Now many people did.

Due to his being zoned out, he didn't notice Katrina walking to the side of him until looked up at him. She smiled at him like she knew something he didn't. It made him uncomfortable.

"What?" He asked, bluntly. Her smile didn't waver, however. Only increased in size. She also remained silent, which just made him even more unsettled. Secrets were just another word for 'I'm not telling'. He decided to ignore her, looking back to straight ahead. Sometimes he just didn't understand his 'friend', as she called herself. He remembered that Hawke once said friendship was a two way thing. They had to both consider each other a friend. Otherwise, it wasn't much of a friendship.

They stayed like that for quite some time, before Varric came over to the two, that same smile on his face. Now that there were two of them, he got very angered. They looked ahead, constantly looking at him from the corners of there eyes. He continued to ignore them, before they both broke into fits of laughter. This is what triggered his anger the most.

"What do you two want?" He asked as polite as he could, considering he was suffering there stares. Varric shook his head and muttered something he couldn't quite understand, before walking back up to Hawke. Katrina stayed there, now holding in her laughter.

"Its just..um..something.." She didn't ignore his question, thankfully. But it would've been better if it was not just 'Something'.

"A proper answer, would be thanked." She looked at him like she didn't believe him. Why would he need to lie? Its like everyone knew something he did not. And that simply pissed him off even more.

"You? Thanking people? When have you ever done that?"

"About four times when he met Hawke. But who's counting?" Anders said from behind them. Was he listening to there conversation? He started to unconsciously glaring, even though he wasn't facing the man. And, hold on a minute, he remembered that? Why the hell would he remember that?

"You, apparently." Katrina said from next to him. She looked almost even more amused then before, if that was even possible. She also had the most smug face ever. "And speaking of you, I was wondering how you became a grey warden. I know all the story's of the wardens in Ferelden and yet I know nothing of you," She turned around to look at him. "What is your story?"

"How do you know I'm Fereldan?" Anders asked.

"Well, there is your accent, the way you act. And as a plus, Fenris told me so." He did NOT want to be mentioned in there conversation. If he was going to be asked stupid questions by that abomination, then he was going to leave. Nothing is worse then having to answer questions about why you mentioned your rival when you were finally free of him. Wait, when did he mention Anders in the time he's been a warden?

"When did I do this?" He asked. She looked at him, with an unimpressed look.

"Oh, come on. You weren't THAT drunk, were you?"

"Drunk? I have not gotten drunk ever since I joined the wardens."

"Oh, yes you have. Remember, you drank Oghren's special brew." Now he was starting to remember. The smelly dwarf thought he couldn't handle it. Oh, how he had proven him wrong. It brought a small smiled to his lips from remembering it. Happy times. Still not as happy as he was with Hawke's group, but happy enough.

"You guys know Oghren?" Anders asked.

"Well, yeah. He helped me fix the Blight." Katrina answered him.

"Oh, right. He did mention that. Keep't bragging about it like there was no tomorrow, as well. Now that was probably the worst time of my life." Katrina laughed.

"That does sound like Oghren. Anyway, that must mean you were a warden in Amaranthine. The one with the Orlesian warden."

"Yeah. Nice place, that. When was the last time you were there?"

"I was there not long ago. I went there to get a ship to here. But I also went there once... I think I actually met you before!" Anders before Kirkwall? He was probably the same annoying Abomination that he is today. But one can only wonder whether he had been different. "Are you the mage that had one to many escape missions in the Circle? The one that tried to get me to sleep with him?" ...What? Wait, was Anders the Fereldan mage Oghren mentioned? This time he did look behind his shoulder to the Abomination. He could see a slight tinge of pink on his ears.

"Well, yeah." Anders said. She looked him over from head to toe.

"You look different. That might be why I didn't recognize you in the first place. Are you still claiming everyone in the brothels?" She asked as if she were discussing something more civil. But wait, Anders... would do what? He coughed awkwerdly, the mental image of Anders having um... Private time with the people of the Blooming Rose stuck in his head, he could feel his face burning up.

"Uhh..." Anders was about to begin, but they were, yet again, attacked by Qunari upon nearing the Viscount's Keep. He got out his sword, charging at the first Qunari he could see. It didn't take long to get rid of them. It was almost a shame to end the lives of such an honorable race, but it was necessary.

He took out a Qunari that was trying to get his sword arm. He looked around for other opponents and saw a Saarebas appearing from nowhere. He gave out a battle cry, charging at the beast, but it used a force spell to push him away. And, as if on purpose, a Qunari soldier had been there to stab his head, but missed and instead cutting his cheek. How did the Qunari miss? He was in distance. He looked beside him and saw Anders had pulled him out of range of it and was now casting spells at it. He had... ultimately saved his life. _Mages are to unpredictable.. _He thought, before he got back into the mindless slaughter.

...

**Yeah, Anders saved Fenris' life, it's very common. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!**

**Merry Christmas and a happy New Year! :D**


	5. Stop Talking, Please

**I think I need to apologize for the fact that I haven't updated in like, a month. Sorry! As soon as I updated it last time, I lost my internet. That went on for three weeks and I didn't get any work done. And when I got it back, I spent so much time doing other things that I forgot to start writing again. And as a plus, I was only getting ideas for new stories, not ideas for stories I already have up.**

**Here's a list of pairings that I forgot to add in the second chapter. One sided? Anders/Fenris (Fenders) M!Hawke/Isabela, in past and possibly near future F!Tabris/Alistair. That's all so far, but more will be added. And I take suggestions! **

...

Looks like he managed to make sure the elf doesn't need extreme healing after this battle. It was easy for Anders to pull Fenris out of range of that swing. He may be a mage, but he still has some muscle from twirling that staff. And after all, Fenris is much more light then people may think. It was doubtful that Fenris would appreciate the whole saving his life thing, but that's the life of a healer for you. Well, the healer of a bratty, broody, prickly, horribly annoying, extremely handsome...

His mind wasn't helping the situation one bit.

**Get your head back into the battle! **Justice scolded him. He still hated how the damn spirit could read all his fucking thoughts! Nothing good comes when your thinking of something you do not want anyone to know about, then, due to there minds being linked, there is the chance that the next time your spirit possesses you he could blurt out all of your secrets and private thoughts. He already had to put up with that when Fenris was here, now all of those fears have come back to the surface.

He looked around to find that all the Qunari were dead, strangely enough. His head turned from side to side, seeing that everyone was now talking to each other. His eyes went back to the front of him and he was greeted by the sight of Hawke.

"What is your problem?" Hawke asked, sounding as irritated as he was this morning. He must still be going through the initial shock that is falling for a whore. Like he said, never fall in love with a whore. No one ever listened to him then, either.

"Nothing." Hawke only narrowed his eyes. No wonder him and Fenris got along so well. They both glare people into the ground, making sure they never get up again, just by looking into they'er eyes. Oh, what an intimidating bunch they are.

"Like hell. You just zoned out. You," Hawke started poking the middle of his chest every time he punctuated a word. "Can. Not. Zone. Out. Mid. Battle." Suddenly he felt this instant need to disagree with him, but a tiny voice was telling him that was a bad idea. Or rather a very LARGE BOOMING voice, telling him that he could use Hawke in the fight for mages. He held his hands up in surrender.

"Right, right. Sorry."

"What the fuck would make you lose focus when we are in battle?" _White hair, green eyes, tanned skin, black armor, never breaking stare, skin tight leggings, the ass that the skin tight leggings show off, Shiny tattoos made of Lyrium that attracts the common eye, as well as my own. full lips, gorgeous face... Why am I thinking about this?_

**You explain that to me. Humans have such a strange attraction to elves. It does not make sense to me.**

_Well, I'm sure it wouldn't make sense to you, being a fade spirit and all. Can't really explain it myself._

**Your friend, the pirate, says they have pretty eyes. Maybe there is some kind of effect that the eyes make.**

_Just shut up. _He hoped that would silence the spirit. He remembered that conversation. But Isabela had only said that so Fenris would stop asking about the relic. It worked well enough. Now, back to what he was doing. _Wait... what was I doing?_ He wondered on this for a few seconds, before he remembered the question he left floating in the air. He just hoped Hawke didn't slap him for it.

"Its nothing." He tried, but Hawke's glare did not falter. Damn, that glare made him want to find a hole somewhere and bury himself in it, just to get away from it. Hawke was a lot more scary then anyone gives him credit for. A wonder the most known pirate whore managed to steal the man's heart. She also managed to stab it, rip it apart, spit on it and leave it somewhere in the Sea of Ash to be found by some random person that doesn't know what the heart went through. That would suck. He had had his healthy amount of heart breaks himself, but Hawke didn't seem like he had a heart till Isabela crushed it.

Hawke glared a bit harder, before giving up. "If that nothing is distracting you from healing, then sort it out. If one of my companions die because your making heart shaped eyes at 'nothing', then I will make sure there is no healer to save the people of Darktown, are we clear?" Great. Now even Hawke could see what was making him miss his spells. He gave a sharp nod, knowing full well that even though Hawke puts on this tough guy act, he would crumble if one of them died. Hawke wasn't so much of a bad guy around them. So as long as Hawke has his friends, he can fight any foe that stands in his way.

Hawke walked away to go help someone off the ground. Now that he looked at it, there was a whole bunch of mage corpses on the ground. Poor people. How did they get here, anyway? _I thought they didn't let them out of the Gallows._

**They are most likely here to assist with the assault on the city.**

_In this case, they would have been safer in the Gallows then anywhere else, at the moment. It was probably the Knight-Commander that made them come down here. Heartless wench that she is. She keeps them in the Gallows to 'keep them safe', but I just don't see it._

**Indeed. It is most strange that even though they claim they are helping them, they do not allow them to see they'er loved ones, but they allow them out to get slaughtered. It is unjust. The sooner we fix the mage's plight, the better. You must be more committed.**

_I AM committed. If I wasn't, I would have never been the host for you, and could have stayed the way I was. Completely selfish, not caring, and living life to the fullest._

**If you are committed, then stop fantasizing about the elf. He is a distraction. Your infatuation with him is not good for the cause.**

_I am not infatuated with him!_

**Then stop thinking about him.**

_I will stop thinking about him, as soon as you stop mentioning him. It's kinda hard not to think about someone when there being talked about. But of course you wouldn't know that._

**I do not care for the matter. Just deal with your silly crush.**

_I thought the only meaning of the word crush you knew was 'I shall crush you into oblivion'._

**After spending enough time with you, one learns.**

_Greeaat..._ Maybe Varric could lend Bianca. He could kill himself and not have to worry about all this. Or maybe he could just tell Varric to do it himself, instead of Anders having to touch Bianca. Or maybe he could ask Aveline if he could borrow her sword so he can kill himself and save everyone the trouble of having to deal with him. Then at least Justice would be free from his body.

_Killing ones self is a sin in the eyes of the Maker. _

Fenris had said that. Oh, sod it all. He really was going to go mad from all this nonsense. He had to get his head back in the game, or rather, the war. Anders looked back over to Hawke, and saw him talking with first enchanter Orsino. Another elf that makes him wonder why the hell he's living. Orsino bows down to the Templar's, doesn't do anything wrong, but for what? To continue being jailed?

Katrina ran to him, with a smile on her face. "I just remembered. I have something for you." Katrina started digging through her packs. It had been a long time since anyone had ever given him anything. Not since his days with the Warden-Commander. She keep't digging through her packs, being rather unsuccessful. "I know it was somewhere here." Anders stood there, arms crossed over his chest, while she tried to find this 'something'.

She stopped suddenly. "Well, it couldn't have just ran away." He could hear her whisper faintly, 'Well, it could run, but that's beside the point.'. He couldn't think of anything that could run away, that someone he only knew for like, a few hours would give to him. Her eyes widened a bit, before she turned around. Hawke was still talking to Orsino, with Aveline asking the man questions. Varric was petting Bianca while they wait, and Fenris was just standing there.

"Fenris!" Katrina yelled out. Fenris, in turn, turned to look at her. He took a moment to glare at Anders, to which Anders just rolled his eyes. You'ed think the elf would get over the whole 'I hate mages' thing after all this time. But no, he didn't. Such a shame to. Now he had to suffer that glare once more. Its not like he cared that much, its just that he had to put up with glares enough in his time at the circle, it would be nice to just meet a group of people that didn't give him the evil eye.

Katrina made a 'come here' motion with her hand. Fenris walked up to them, not looking at them, but through them. It made him feel like he was being ignored. Not like he wasn't used to it by now, it just annoys him to no end. Fenris stopped a few feet in front of them.

"Hey, Fen, do you know where-"

"No."

"Fen, I think it snuck into your pack-"

"No."

"Fen-"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Aww, come on! Its just a nickname. It means wolf, anyway. So stop growling, and let me finish my sentence."

"It is not in my pack. That thing never even made it into my room." This conversation was just making him more curious as to what this 'present' is. It sounds like it might be something to do with magic, considering the tone in which Fenris talks about it. But that's just a guess.

"Could we at least take a look? I mean, I can't have just forgotten it."

"Then hopefully we left it back in Amaranthine."

"Oh, you don't mean that!"

"Then again, it might have been better just to give it to someone else, so I didn't have to put up with it." Fenris suddenly made a face, and he could see Katrina smile. What was going on?

"Something wrong, Fen?" Katrina asked. Fenris' brows drew together. Fenris then started looking through his own packs. When he couldn't find anything, he glare at the pouch on his belt. Anders was starting to remember the gifts he got from the Warden-Commander. One of them being...

Fenris unbuttoned the pouch, to reveal a clump of orange fur. Anders could feel his own eyes widen as Fenris grabbed the ball of fur to reveal an adult tabby cat, that should not have even managed to fit in the pouch. Talk about a cat that can get into tight spaces.

"Sir Pounce-A-Lot?" Anders couldn't help the smile that graced his lips at the sight of his old companion. Fenris held it up by its neck fur, holding it out to him.

"This thing won't leave me alone. Get it away from me." Fenris said. Sir Pounce-A-Lot practically jumped into Anders arms when presented the chance. Anders hugged the feline to his chest, happy to feel the fur tickling his nose. Pounce rubbed his head against the feathers on his shoulders.

"Aww, Pounce. Its been to long, hasn't it? Did everyone treat you well?" Pounce meowed as if in answer to all his questions, making him coo over the cat even more. He looked to the two elves he thought would never be able to obtain his old friend. In fact, how did he come into they'er hands?

"Where did you two get him?" Katrina and Fenris looked at each other, and sighed.

"That cat goes through a lot of owners. From what I remember from the story, he had been through all of the Wardens in the keep. All giving him to the next because of him being more trouble then he's worth. I got him from Oghren, Oghren said he got it from the Warden-Commander, Oghren said that she gave him to her saying that he was ruining her collection of shiny things. Oghren gave him to me because the cat got drunk from drinking near all of his ale. Now that includes Oghren's special brew, so when I got the cat, he was tipsy. I didn't even know you could get a cat drunk." She said with a laugh.

"Wait, Oghren got my cat drunk?" Ohh, the words he was going to say if he ever saw that drunken dwarf again.

"Actually, the cat got himself drunk. Anyway, that was also when I met Fenris, and that's when I found out that it was Fenris that had to take care of Pounce before the Warden-Commander. He gave it to the Warden-Commander, saying that the cat was keep annoying him." That brought his gaze to Fenris. The scary, mage hating, covered in Lyrium elf took care of his cat. It made him unconsciously pull Pounce tighter to his chest.

Fenris looked at him with the same glare as always, then with a raised eyebrow at the glare being aimed at him, instead of him doing the glaring.

"You know, I can really feel the love in the air. Can't you?" Katrina said, rather sarcastically at they'er glaring. "But then again, that may just be me. Hero or Ferelden and all that jazz. I probably had to much trouble killing the Archdemon to know when love was around. But again, could just be me." Fenris shot a glare in her general direction. She, however,didn't flinch under his gaze. Just tsked.

"Not cringing under his glare? He takes offense to that." Anders did flinch when that same glare was pointed at him.

"Pfft, I used to travel with a Qunari. You really think he can out glare them?"

"You... traveled with a what?"

"So you are death as well, mage." Fenris said.

"Now now, ladys-" Katrina tried, but Anders was having none of this from the elf.

"Well, working day in and say out helping those who can't help themselves does tend to make your hearing faulty. Trying to save my own kind from the cruel hand of the Templars also seems to do it. And I don't see you going to rescue your fellow slaves from Tevinter. Or do you want them to go through what supposedly happened to you." _I really need to stop talking. I'm only increasing the amount the elf hates me. _

Stopping seemed to have been impossible though.

"But I guess your just the picture of perfection, right?" _Looking at him now, yes. Yes he is. _Now even his mind was betraying him. Here he thought it was just his body that didn't like him. A look at Fenris proved that, no, his body wasn't the only thing that hated him.

So much for a good impression.

"You know," Katrina started. "looking at this now, I remember why I hated humans." She said with a glare.

"And I realize how much I truly hate mages." Fenris said, before turned away to walk over to Hawke. Katrina looked at him once, then gave Pounce a little pat before joining her friend. This left Anders to realize how fucked he was. If he had just managed to keep his mouth just, then he wouldn't be in the position he is now. His relationship with Fenris has just gone from progress, to rivals. Again. And to make things worse, Knight-Commander Meradith was making her way towards Hawke.

...

**Anders, you really need to just shut up or you'll never get anywhere with Fenris. Hope you all liked this chapter. Just remember, I can write any pairing. I have got Awakening, so I am getting to know more characters. Have a good Day/Night!**


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